


Sensitive Material

by lovekernel



Category: Sweet/Vicious (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2018-12-24 18:37:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12018663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovekernel/pseuds/lovekernel
Summary: Jules loses her journal. There's a lot in there that she doesn't want anyone to read.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Idk where Evan and Tyler are in this but I do know that Ophelia and Jules aren't in relationships. Just go with it. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!

Ophelia was woken abruptly by banging on her front door. She stumbled out of bed and crossed the room to unlock it. The banging continued.

"One second!" Ophelia called, pulling off the chain and opening the door. Jules was on the other side, looking panicked, her eyes searching the apartment behind Ophelia.

"It's really early, Jules..." Ophelia mumbled, rubbing her eye.

"It's 10am." Jules pushed past Ophelia and made a beeline for the coffee table. She sifted through a bunch of papers and wrappers that they'd left there during their study session the night before.

Ophelia shut the door and padded over to the table. "What is happening?"

Jules ignored her and moved on to Ophelia's desk, shifting her possessions around.

Ophelia took Jules's arm gently and pulled her around to face her. Jules's head still turned, looking around the room, searching the floor.

Ophelia waved a hand in front of her face. "Jules, Jules, Jules!"

Jules stopped moving and looked at Ophelia.

"What are you looking for?"

Jules swallowed and looked around again. "My journal, I can't find it anywhere! I thought maybe I left it here last night ... I don't know. Have you seen it?"

Ophelia scratched her head and looked around. "Uh ... I don't know, what does it look like?"

"It's brown, like um, like cardboard, with pink stripes."

"Well, anything pink in here will definitely stand out as yours ..." Ophelia clicked her tongue as she scanned the room. "Are you sure you left it here? When did you last see it?"

Jules stared at her with wide eyes. "Ophelia, if I knew that I wouldn't be looking for it!"

Ophelia turned away to check the kitchen. "Okay, okay. Do you remember the last time you wrote in it?"

"I don't know ... yesterday morning?"

"At home?" Ophelia asked, peering over the counter.

There was no response. Ophelia looked around and found Jules staring at the wall with a stunned expression on her face.

"Jules?"

"No," Jules whispered.

Ophelia walked back over to her. "What? What is it?"

"I wrote in it yesterday ... in the library," Jules said as she ran a hand down her face. "This is bad."

"What do you write in your journal? Like, are we talking crappy poetry here or something more serious?"

"Just ... personal stuff. Everything from the past year." Jules clenched and unclenched her fists at her sides.

"God, okay." Ophelia ran a hand through her hair. "Stuff about us?"

Jules looked up at her. "Huh?"

"Stuff about how we beat people up? The guy we killed? Jules!"

"Um, I don't know. Maybe? From way back! Before you got involved. Nothing specific, I don't think ..." Jules was now rubbing her temples and taking deep breaths.

Ophelia sprung into action and went to find some clothes. "Keep searching the apartment while I get dressed and we'll go down to the library and look for it."

Jules nodded and turned around to keep looking.

********

Jules tapped her fingers against the dashboard while Ophelia parked.

"Don't worry," Ophelia said as they got out of the car. "We'll find it."

"I'm just worried about who'll read it before we do," replied Jules.

Once inside the library, Ophelia pushed Jules towards the study spaces. "Go look where you were sitting, I'll check lost and found."

Jules got three steps away before she ran back and pulled on Ophelia's sleeve.  
"O, if you find it, don't read it, okay?"

Ophelia scoffed and smiled at her. "Obviously. I care deeply about your privacy."

"Considering our history, that's not reassuring," Jules said worriedly.

"Don't worry, Jules. I won't read it," Ophelia said, locking eyes with her.

Jules nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

Jules turned and ran off into the library, leaving Ophelia confused over why she was so concerned that she would read her journal. She wouldn't of course but ... there was nothing in there that she didn't already know, right?

Jules paced through a cluster of empty desks. She couldn't even remember which one she sat at, she was so frazzled. Besides the final essay on her laptop screen, all her memories from yesterday morning were a blur.

She got down on her hands and knees and searched the floor.  
There were so many secrets in that journal. Everything since before Jules met Ophelia was documented in there. Everything to do with her assault, plans for vigilante justice, details on her targets, pages about Carter especially were on her mind. Yes, it was vague, but anyone with a clue could put the pieces together.

Then all the stuff from her breakdown after her fight with Kennedy. There was some really dark stuff there, thoughts that scared Jules when she wrote them and now in retrospect were absolutely terrifying.

And the more recent entries, in which Ophelia featured heavily. Jules's heart pounded at the idea of Ophelia ever reading them.

Succumbing to the fact that the floor was completely clear, Jules sat up on her knees and put her head in her hands. After a minute she dropped her hands and found a pair of boots on the floor in front of her.

"Panic over! This is it, right?" Ophelia said holding out a wire bound book that was indeed Jules's journal, wrapped and sealed in an elastic band.

Jules let out a sigh of relief. "Yes!"

Ophelia took her hand and helped her off the floor, handing her the journal.

Jules hugged it tightly to her chest and held it out again. "Why is there a rubber band on it?"

Ophelia shrugged. "Someone must have realised it was private. I asked at the desk, it wasn't them."

"Oh ..." Jules said. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure if the police were looking for you we'd know by now."  
Ophelia looped her arm through Jules's elbow and steered her towards the door.

Jules kept staring at her journal. "Yeah. I guess."

"The important thing is you got it back, right?"

Jules shrugged and relaxed a little. "Yeah, you're right."

Back in the car, Jules removed the elastic band and flipped through the journal, making sure the pages were all still there. Everything appeared untouched. She skipped to the last page that she wrote in.

_I can't be around O without thinking about how much I want to kiss her. I keep catching myself staring at her lips. It's getting ridiculous but I can't tell her all this without knowing everything will be okay if I do._

Jules shook her head and shut the journal. A yellow post-it fell out of the cover and landed on Jules's knee. It wasn't hers, she bought a huge value pack of pink post-its in sophomore year and they were all she used.  
Jules turned it over to see a messy scrawl. It was barely readable but she worked it out.

_I'm REALLY sorry I read your diary. I'm gonna put a rubber band around it to deter others before I hand it in to the desk. If it helps I only read the last page and if you're looking for a sign to go for it with O, here it is. Do it! Good luck!_

Jules stared at the note in her hand for a few moments, feeling weirdly elated and at the same time nervous that a stranger had opened her journal at all.

"What's that?" came Ophelia's voice from the drivers seat.

Jules quickly tucked the note into her journal. "Nothing. Just an old note-to-self."  
She reached out and touched Ophelia's shoulder. "Thank you."

"No problem," Ophelia replied. "Can't have your secrets getting out, can we?" She smirked and winked at Jules.

Jules smiled back at her. As Ophelia turned her head back to face the road, Jules's eyes fell on her lips.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The impossible is possible! I deleted and restarted this chapter at least four times since I published the first chapter. Hope you enjoy!!

Jules closed the apartment door behind her. Ophelia went straight to the kitchen and pulled out a box of cereal.

“Breakfast?” she asked Jules, placing two bowls on the counter.

“Sure,” Jules said, sitting down at a stool. She put her journal on the counter and combed her hand down the back of her head. “It’s more like brunch though.”

“My place, my time.” Ophelia smirked to herself, pouring the cereal from a height and making some bounce out of each of the bowls.

Jules picked up a couple of the loops and popped them in her mouth. Chewing slowly, she stared at her journal. She touched the cover, running her fingers over the smooth cardboard, and thought of the person who read it.

Ophelia poured the milk and slid a bowl over to Jules, watching her carefully. “Have you recovered yet?” she asked, handing over a spoon.

Jules looked up. “Yeah. We’re safe.” She sighed and dipped her spoon into the bowl. “Or as safe as we can be.”

Ophelia nodded. “Yeah... well.” She cocked her head, picked up her bowl, took a bite and went to sit at her computer.

Jules looked around and watched Ophelia tapping at her keyboard for a moment before she turned back to her journal.

She flipped through the pages and found the post-it left by the person who found it. It crossed her mind already that Ophelia could have written it, with her left hand maybe, the handwriting was terrible. But Jules knew Ophelia wouldn’t open her journal after she told her specifically not to read it. Ophelia was certainly capable of invading Jules’s privacy, but this was one clear boundary Jules trusted that Ophelia would not cross.

  
The page Jules left the post-it on included an account of a pizza date with Ophelia, from before Jules realised her feelings towards Ophelia had changed. Not too long before however. Only a few days before she and Tyler broke up.

Tyler started that conversation. Sitting on her bed three months ago, he told her how he felt. He didn’t want to end it, he just felt neglected. Jules spent all her time with Ophelia, and what were they doing together anyway? He said there was no way they were just studying or hanging out. He knew that Jules wasn’t spending even half as much time with Kennedy.

Jules didn’t have answers and she panicked thinking that Tyler was finally putting the pieces together.

Suddenly she was spilling to Tyler how she didn’t feel the same way about him as she did when they started going out. She cared for him so much but she didn’t feel a spark anymore. She was excited to see him and loved talking to him but she never felt like kissing him goodbye anymore. When he pulled her close in bed, she just wanted to roll away. When he told her that he loved her, Jules got caught on the words to say it back.

Tyler left with tears in his eyes and while Jules felt horribly guilty for hurting him, the second she shut the door behind him, she felt lighter.

It was only the next morning, after sleeping better than she had in weeks, that Jules thought back to everything that Tyler said about Ophelia, and she realised what he had really been insinuating. The thought alarmed her for a moment, the idea that Tyler thought she was cheating on him, that he might not be the only person who thought that. Then Jules relaxed, because it was still better that he believed that than the truth.

When Ophelia heard about the breakup, she was ready to fight Tyler for whatever he did to Jules. Jules laughed and told her to chill, then everything she told Tyler. She left out what Tyler said about them, and at the time Jules wasn’t sure why.

She knew why now.

If she told Ophelia what Tyler thought they got up to when they were alone, she might laugh it off and break Jules’s heart for thinking it was ever a possibility.

Or she might take it seriously and... Jules didn’t let herself imagine what happened then. It felt so intrusive to imagine Ophelia feeling for her anything like the way Jules had been feeling about Ophelia the last few months.

Jules felt guilty every time she had a fantasy involving herself and Ophelia. Even the harmless ones.

Kissing Ophelia on her cheek as she said goodbye for one.

The thought crossed Jules’s mind once when she left Ophelia to sleep after a takedown. Ophelia collapsed on her bed, completely exhausted after a particularly tough fight. Jules had to leave that night, if she stayed at Ophelia’s too often the sisters asked questions. But she stood near the bed for a moment, looked down at Ophelia’s face slowly relaxing, the lines in her forehead easing away, she was starting to drift off.

She was irresistible in that moment, Jules just had to brush Ophelia’s hair away from her eyes where it had fallen, and kiss her cheek.

But she didn’t.

Jules patted Ophelia’s arm, said goodnight and went home.

And that was just the beginning of the torture that Jules had been putting herself through since she realised her feelings for Ophelia.

Second-guessing every touch, every compliment, every flirty joke from either of them. Jules was so careful with how she acted around Ophelia, so scared she might overstep and make Ophelia uncomfortable. If she messed up she might destroy their friendship. It did feel like so much more than a simple friendship sometimes, Jules found herself thinking. It could survive anything, she thought.

She thought. She didn’t know.

If she was going to take a risk and tell Ophelia what she was feeling she had to be certain they would be okay afterwards.

“You’re very quiet over there,” Jules heard from across the room.

She turned to see Ophelia watching her curiously.

“I was just reading this,” Jules replied, indicating her journal.

Ophelia quirked an eyebrow and smiled. “Anything juicy?”

Jules returned her smile. “Just the usual.”

Ophelia nodded and turned back to the computer. Jules went back to her journal.

“What exactly is the usual?”

Jules turned around. Ophelia was facing her again and this time she took on a more serious expression.

“What do you mean?”

Ophelia’s eyes left Jules’s face as she took a breath, opened her mouth and then closed it again.

Jules waited for an answer.

Ophelia took another deep breath.

“The way you acted earlier, when you told me not to read your diary... it was weird. I mean, I get it, it’s private and it’s not like I would read it anyway. It’s just...”

Jules kept her tone light. “Just what, O?”

“Surely there’s nothing in there I wouldn’t already know?”

Jules didn’t reply. Ophelia continued.

“You’re allowed to have secrets that’s not what I’m saying, I’m just... wondering if I should be worried about you.”

“Ophelia. I’m fine.”

Ophelia nodded. “Okay.” She paused. “Okay. It’s just you haven’t really... been yourself lately. You were doing great for so long but after you broke up with Tyler something changed. I thought it was the breakup but that seemed like, I don’t know, a relief to you? And I only notice it when we’re alone...I mean, you’re fine, normal, with Kennedy and the sisters...”

Jules watched Ophelia’s mind work. Oh gosh, she was going to figure it out. If she hasn’t already.

“Half of me thought it was part of all the stuff you’re hiding from them, you know, that’s why you’re only acting natural around them and there’s still something wrong and I’m the only one who can see it. The other half of me thinks...” Ophelia stopped for a second. Chewed her bottom lip. Her eyes fell to the ground as she rubbed a palm down her lap, and she looked up again at Jules.

“Did I do something? I mean, I feel like if I did you would just come out and say it. I’m really confused, Jules, I’d appreciate it if you’d help me understand what’s going on with you.”

“There’s nothing going on,” Jules shook her head.

What to say? She couldn’t stand to see the guilt appearing on Ophelia’s face now.

“And you haven’t done anything.” Jules closed her journal and left it on the counter to walk over to Ophelia’s chair.

Ophelia looked sceptical, and worried.

“Everything’s fine, Ophelia! I don’t know where this is coming from, but trust me, I’m okay. I’m great, actually.”

  
She put her hand on Ophelia’s shoulder. Feeling it’s warmth, she suddenly remembered her rule about unnecessary touching, and took her hand back to step away and lean against the couch. She forced a smile.

Ophelia looked at her arm where Jules had just snatched her hand away, and up at Jules who was nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Okay, Jules, seriously, what is happening right now?”

Jules crossed her arms. She felt all clammy. “Nothing!”

“What did I do, Jules? You can’t even touch me without looking like you’ve been shocked.”

“I’m sorry I just...”

Just what? Shes just scared to touch Ophelia in case she makes her uncomfortable? She’s just in love with her? And by apologising, Jules thought, she’s just admitted that she took her hand away for a reason.

“Do you know?”

“Know what?”

“If you knew then you’d know.” Ophelia shook her head and suddenly stood up. “I mean, it makes sense! It’s the only thing that explains your behaviour lately. Not touching me, you never stay over anymore. God, you don’t even change in front of me. There’s, like, this huge block between us... and it’s been there for months.”

Jules was confused. Ophelia was rambling the way she did when she had reached her emotional limit.  
“What? What are you talking about?”

“The only time it’s not there is when we’re wrapped up in a takedown. God, am I crazy for thinking that even if you knew you wouldn’t care? I mean, after everything we’ve been through together, this is a speed bump. Maybe that’s the only reason you’re still here...”

Ophelia paced across the apartment while Jules watched her, getting more confused with every word Ophelia said.

Jules stepped out and grabbed Ophelia’s arm, stopped her pacing and turned her to face her. Ophelia as if she was about to cry. Jules was gentle. “What, Ophelia? What reason?”

“Carter. Sweet/Vicious! Is that the only reason you’re still here? It seems like I’ve really freaked you out, Jules.” Ophelia rubbed her eye and swallowed.

Jules took Ophelia’s other arm and just held her there. Screw the rule.  
“I’m not leaving you. I’m not going anywhere,” Jules said, shaking her head. She sighed. “I just want you to explain what the heck you’re talking about, because I can’t catch up.”

“Please be honest with me,” Ophelia said calmly, and quietly.

Jules looked into Ophelia’s eyes and Ophelia looked raw. Jules felt raw, like all her thoughts and feelings were set out on the bed behind Ophelia, just waiting for her to turn around and see everything. And Jules couldn’t lie to her anymore.

“You’re right. That something has been going on for the past few months. And you’re probably right, that it’s been getting between us.” Jules tried to ignore the pounding blood in her ears. She felt like this was so overwhelming she might pass out. It was time to say it.

“Before I say it, I need you to know that the relationship we have means so much to me. I’ll do anything to protect it. I do... love you. And it’s weird but that’s why I didn’t want to tell you that I..." Say it. Do it.

“I’m so scared of losing you. I’ve messed up before and said things that, honestly, I’m not sure you should have forgiven. This is different but... it still has the potential to mess up what we have. So I... I kept it to myself. I did everything I could to make sure you didn’t find out... yeah, I hardly ever touch you anymore, I’m... really... careful with my words. Everything we do... everything I do with you I filter it through this lens I have from before I felt this way and I make sure whatever I do doesn’t... hurt... you.” Jules pinched the bridge of her nose. “That’s the wrong word. I’m afraid that I’ll make you uncomfortable if I show you how I really feel about you. And, um, obviously you picked up on the difference in how I was acting, I mean, my journal is full of evidence of all the stuff I’ve been feeling, that’s why I acted like I did earlier... and now I see I did... hurt you. You’re clearly really upset by everything I’ve done.”

Jules focused on her breathing. Ophelia’s eyebrows were furrowed, watching Jules in her anxious state.

“I’m so sorry, Ophelia.”

Ophelia closed her eyes for a second. “What... what are you saying?”

“After I broke up with Tyler...” Jules shrugged. “Maybe even before, to an extent...I realised that...” She took a deep breath and looked into Ophelia’s eyes, which were steady on her own.

“That I had feelings for you.”

She finally said it out loud.

It was so quiet for a moment. The fan on Ophelia’s computer seemed like the loudest thing on earth.

They stared at each other.

Jules watched Ophelia process what she told her, her heart beating like a drum, just as hard, not quite as loud. She felt lighter. Relieved.

Ophelia’s eyes stayed locked on Jules’s, and her mouth opened into a little ‘o’.

After all that, Ophelia actually seemed okay, if a little shocked. Her silence was unnatural though. Jules spoke up. “How do you, um, feel... about that?”

“You really didn’t know about me.”

Jules sighed. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about, O.” Ophelia looked away from Jules for the first time in a few minutes.

“Ophelia. Did you... know?”

“No! No, I had no idea.”

“Okay.”

Jules needed a real response to her confession. Ophelia was somewhere else though. Jules leaned against the back of the couch.

“What were you trying to tell me?”

Ophelia’s eyes darted to Jules. She sighed deeply and ran a hand through her hair. “Okay.”

  
Ophelia stepped towards Jules and caught her hand, removing another weight from Jules’s chest.

“Okay.” Ophelia scrunched her eyes and opened them. “Honestly, I’m not sure how you didn’t work this out before because it looks like we’ve been in the same situation.” She let out a nervous chuckle. “Then again, I didn’t!”

Realisation suddenly hit Jules. “So you...” she trailed off. Her hand went limp in Ophelia’s.

Ophelia scratched her eyebrow. “Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s what I’m saying. I feel the same way.”

Jules was still in shock. “How long...?”

“Eh.... definitely before you broke up with Tyler. “ Ophelia nodded. “Yeah. A while before that actually. It was, um, part of the reason me and Evan broke up. He could tell. He knows me really well.”

“Sorry...”

“Not your fault. I really couldn’t help it.” Ophelia looked down at Jules’s hand in hers and lifted it to chest-height.

Jules watched her, her own hand lying motionless on Ophelia’s. Ophelia put her other hand on top.  
Jules smiled. She put her free hand on top of Ophelia’s, making a sandwich. Ophelia looked up at her and grinned.

Jules laughed in relief. “I’m glad I told you now.”

Ophelia’s eyes went wide. “Me too! God, I thought if I went on like this any longer I’d explode!”

Jules nodded. “Same. This feels good.”

“Yeah,” said Ophelia. She looked down at their hands. “It really does.”

Jules bit her lip. She used their hand sandwich to pull Ophelia closer.

Ophelia looked up into Jules’s face and Jules took her left hand back, only so she could wrap her arm around Ophelia’s waist and bring her less than a step from them being pressed together.

Jules leaned in and delicately pressed her lips against Ophelia’s. She felt the bend in skin as they both smiled against each other.

Their hands came loose and embraced each other’s bodies, pulling them closer together until there was no space between them. Their lips broke apart and they both smiled again, a little breathless, before they leaned her foreheads against each other and closed their eyes, completely at peace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still can’t quite get an ending wrapped up the way I want it to! If you think Jules could not possibly be that clueless, remember how she was during the entirety of the series and get back to me!  
> Thanks so much for reading and please let me know what you think!


End file.
